If I won the lottery

Today I was cruising Yahoo! to read the news about the suntan lotion terrorist plot and about the Isreali's whipping ass in the Middle East. I love Yahoo! because I am a news junkie, but CNN or MSNBC just can't get the news to me fast enough. I want to jump from topic to topic like a fly jumps from pile of manure to pile of manure. If I could I would consume news like my friend Mark Wu, where he TiVo's the CNN and MSNBC all day while he is at work, and then when get gets home in the evening he watches both replays in split screen mode on his HDTV. An HDTV that, as he puts, would make me look more clear through the TV than if I was actually standing in front of him at a similar distance. But the problem with such high definition news on fast forward is that for being so well defined, you wonder about the quality of a news program like that. What are they hiding behind the attractive, young anchor people and flashy graphics? Where has the substsance gone? Another issue I have with the TiVo your news strategy is that you are always 8 hours behind, becuase you have TiVo the evening news while you watch the dual, fast forward, high definition rebroadcasting of the daily news. And if you miss a day, you're only compounding the problem. In the end you get two opinions at once, and no commercials.

But getting back to my experience on Yahoo! this afternoon. As I was purusing the most popular pictures I noticed that the butter cow from the Illinois State Fair was on the list. Being from Illinois and a huge fan of the butter cow I was reminded of a conversation I had with my father once whilst we gazed upon the glory of a life sized cow expertly sculpted from 700 pounds of butter.

Dad: "That butter cow sure is amazing, look at the detail."
Me: "Yep, that is pretty intense."
Dad: "Don't you just want to drive a truck through it, just to see what happens?"
Me: "Up until you just said that, "no, I hadn't", but now it is my life ambition."

If I were ever so lucky to win the lottery, I can tell you right now that I would buy 2800 pounds of butter and have a herd of butter cows so dad and I can drive through not just one butter cow, but four butter cows......Just to see what it does. And we'd probably have to order lots of salt, popcorn, and sweet corn, because you just can't let all that butter go to waste.